House Tales : Book One
by LostPipersChild
Summary: If the Architect was female, then why wasn't the Heir? And would the Will really chose a child to bare such a huge responsibility? Welcome to the world of Cathy Jones, a world about to collide with that of the House. One thing is for sure, the Trustees bit off more than they could chew this time... Warning ; Swearing ect
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The Eve of Death

Rihanna is not an appropriate sound track to one's own death. I know it sounds stupid to start like that but that's really how it started. I lay there in the middle of the road, choking as blood filled my mouth and my chest constricted, the music from my i-pod still playing in my ears. I hadn't seen the car careering up the hill towards me until its headlights flared in my eyes. The driver had scarpered, I could still hear the screeching of tyres in the distance. I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid! Of all the nights I could have decided to go to the shop for chocolate, I had to choose this night. I twisted my head to stare through the hedge and up the garden path towards my house. The Christmas light were flashing in the window and I could actually see the sit-com mum and dad were watching through the glass. I prayed for them to look outside and see me, for someone to come and find me!

But no one came. Every time I tried to draw breath to shout for help I got a stabbing pain in my chest. All I could manage were short, sharp, gasps. Indignant tears were leaking down my cheeks and mingling with the blood. The twat driver hadn't even bothered to call for an ambulance! There was hospital in town, not five minutes away! I lay quite alone, staring at the orange glare of the street lamp above me, feeling certain that I was going to die.

Then, out of nowhere, someone took out my head phones and a face obscured the light. The stranger wore a frightening mask akin to ones worn in Greek tragedies and their gloved hands were prodding and poking my chest.

"Sir! Mister Dusk sir! I've found it!" he called. A second man came into view, peering over the former's shoulder. He wasn't wearing a mask, his handsome pale face looked extremely sombre.

"Are you sure?" he asked in a deep, quiet voice. "Do the injuries match the description?"

"Four cracked ribs, two broken, one puncturing a lung and a head wound to boot." confirmed the masked one. Dusk sighed.

"Alright boys, gently does it." he said and I felt several pairs of hands lifting me. I was being carried away from the main road and I managed to choke,

"My house is over there!"

No one paid me any attention and there was now a dull ringing in my ears. The last thing I saw was the top of my house disappearing over the top of the hedge before I blacked out.

When I woke I was still in tremendous pain, but it wasn't an 'I'm going to die' kind of pain, more a 'fucking hell that hurts' pain. At least I could breathe properly now. Everything was blurry and I lifted my hand to my eyes, only to find it chained down. I blinked and looked down. All four of my limbs were handcuffed to a polished wood desk.

Oh shit, I'd been abducted by aliens.

Just then I heard voices and I turned my head quickly. Three people were standing by the door. One was Dusk, the others were a man and a woman so identical to him they could only be siblings.

"I don't see why we must use _my_ office." Dusk was grumbling. The other man, who had blond hair rather than black, smiled patronizingly.

"Because, baby brother, you are Monday's Dusk and I am Monday's Noon, ergo you are of lower station and we use your office for messy jobs like this. Isn't that right Dawn?"

"Perfectly right brother." agreed Dawn. She was wearing pink from head to foot and reminded me vividly of a marshmallow with a painted face. Dusk glanced sadly over at me.

"Such a shame, for one so young to have to die."

This finally galvanised me to speak.

"D-die?!" I squeaked. Dawn and Noon looked over too.

"Oh look, you've gone and woken it now." said Noon irritably.

"Her." corrected Dusk quietly.

"What do you mean I'm going to die?!" I asked in alarm.

"Be quiet you, Mister Monday is on his way." said Noon sharply.

I shut my mouth though my lips trembled in fear. For the first time it struck me how odd their clothes were. The men wore waistcoats and britches, with knee high boots and a neckerchiefs. If I didn't know any better I'd say I'd gone back in time to the Victorian age. Monday, Noon, Dusk, odd names. Alien abduction was looking likely. The sound of squeaking in the corridor outside made Dawn, Noon and Dusk alert.

An old man dressed like a door man in a fancy hotel came in, pushing a wicker wheelchair. The occupant of the chair was a somewhat portly man with custard yellow hair styled in a dodgy bowl-cut. He wore a kimono with dragons sewn on it and he was asleep. I tried to raise myself to get a proper look and the clinking of the handcuffs must have disturbed him because he grunted. One of his eyes opened to peer moodily around. The others all bowed to him.

"Master, we have found a suitable human."

Monday cast his eye over at the table and sighed.

"Help me up then!" he snapped. His voice was whinny like a demanding toddler. Noon and Dusk each took one of his arms and lifted him onto his feet. Dawn handed him a cane and he slowly stumped the four foot gap towards me. He peered down grumpily at me and I shrank away in fear. I wasn't normally a timid person but this whole ordeal was too much for me.

"Is this it?" he asked with a yawn. "Not a very impressive specimen."

Somewhere in my terror filled mind I felt a stab of annoyance. Noon appeared beside Monday, flicking through a file.

"I have her record here sir, Catherine, uh, unpronounceable middle name, Jones. Born 3rd of February 1995 common earth era, died 24th of December 2012 common earth era."

"I don't like this at all." grumbled Monday. Dusk loomed up at his other shoulder.

"It's just a precautionary measure sir. The Will has escaped, it could be on its way here right now. Imagine what will happen if it finds you haven't fulfilled you're part of the bargain. All you have to do is give your Key to a human and you'll be free from prosecution."

"Alright! Alright! You are sure it will die straight away aren't you?"

"Oh yes, and then you can have the Key back."

Monday sighed (again) and took a long slender object out of his sleeve. It took me a moment to realise what I was looking at, a clock hand. Monday pointed at my hand and Dusk hurried to strip off my glove, undo the handcuff and lift my arm. At this point I found my voice.

"What are you doing?!" They ignored me. "Where am I?!"

Still they ignored me. Monday placed the clock hand, or 'Key', very deliberately in my palm and started to talk under his breath.

"I Monday, Trustee of the Architect and Master of the Lower House, do relinquish ownership of the First Key to you Catherine Jones. I do so I good faith to the Architect who created and appointed me and in-keeping with her Will. I hereby pronounce you Mistress of the Lower House and Rightful Heiress to the Keys to the Kingdom."

He forced me to close my fingers around the Key and there was a flash of bright light. When it faded I blinked, dazzled, and looked at the Key. It was buzzing slightly like a mobile phone.

"Right." yawned Monday. "What now?"

"We leave the human to die." said Dusk smoothly. "She should be gone by morning. Then you may have the Key back."

"Alright, good evening gentlemen." said Monday, stumping back to the bath-chair. The servants bowed him out of the room. Once he was gone Noon looked down at me.

"Should we leave someone to guard it?" he asked, a look of faint distaste crossing his face as he took in the blood on my face and the front of my jacket.

"We bother? She's tied down and she's not going anywhere with those injuries. I've got to get the Night Watch sorted. It'd be just our luck to have a Nithling attack on a night like this."

"Well I'm going to bed then." said Noon.

"Likewise, goodnight." agreed Dawn.

All three left the room and Dusk turned off the gas lights. I was left alone and frightened in the dark. These people spoke about me like I was an animal bred for slaughter! I lifted my free hand to examine the Key. It had stopped vibrating now and sat docile in my hand. This was all very confusing and downright dodgy. It _sounded_ like an inheritance scam, with me as the scapegoat in case this 'Will', who I assumed was some kind of lawyer, showed up.

Not a bad plan, all Monday had to do was wait for me to die. But_ was_ I dying? I wasn't in pain anymore, I felt fine actually. Puzzled, I transferred the Key to my other hand before awkwardly opening the buttons of my jacket, and lifting my top to investigate the situation. My eyes widened as I saw the bruises that had blossomed across my chest and stomach, melt away. Then I yelped as something inside my chest snapped back into place. Something like a rib.

"Oh good, I was hoping that wouldn't take too long."

I yelped again and looked around wildly whilst coving myself up quickly. Dusk was lurking in the doorway looking very shifty. He came in without turning on the light and to my utter astonishment he spoke tenderly.

"Don't be afraid, I am here to help you."

"But, you were going to let me die!" I said, thoroughly confused. Dusk shook his head and glanced over his shoulder.

"No, no, it was all an act. You're not going to die, but I don't have time to explain. I have to get you out of here! Now listen carefully, I want you to touch the manacles with the Key and say 'unlock', got it?"

"Uh, I think so." I said shakily. I angled the Key so that the tip was touching the metal and said,

"Unlock."

At once they popped open.

"Whoa! How did I do that?" I asked in astonishment, kicking away the chains and sliding off the table. I staggered a little and Dusk steadied me.

"They Key is very powerful, it can open almost any lock as well as heal mortal wounds."

"Is it electronic or something?"

"No, it is magic. Now we must move quickly and quietly." chuckled Dusk.

Still trying to get my head around this wild new piece of information, I took his offered hand and allowed myself to be led outside. The corridor was lit by gas lamps too and there was a plush red carpet under foot. Beyond the glass of the windows all was darkness, it must be the dead of night.

"Um, Dusk, sir, where am I?" I asked as we hurried down the corridor and turned left.

"This is Monday's Day Room, residence of the ruler of the Lower House."

"Oh." I said blankly. "What's the Lower House?"

"Not now Miss Jones, all will be explained soon, I promise."

We came to a dead end in the corridor. There was a pair of curtains across the back wall and Dusk tugged on a velvet rope to open them, revealing a window. It looked ordinary enough, until Dusk muttered something and the scene beyond the glass changed. An orange street lamp flared and I saw the street outside my house.

"This will take you home." said Dusk quickly, turning to me with a very serious expression. "Take the Key and keep it safe. The Will shall contact you shortly."

"But who is the Will?! What's going on? Why did that Monday person give me this Key thing?"

I had a million and one questions but at that moment an alarm sounded all throughout the Day Room. Dusk pushed me towards the window.

"No time! Go! Now!"

Shadows of people running towards us from the adjoining corridor appeared on the wall. I looked between them and Dusk, undecided. Dusk rolled his eyes.

"Hurry! The human is escaping!" he called, pointing furiously at the window. I took the hint and jumped through it.

The glass simply melted away at my touch and the next second I was tripping into my street again. I looked around to see the window collapse in on itself and vanish. I stood there for a while, breathing like I had just run a marathon. Finally the cold got to me and I stumbled through the garden gate and up the front path of my house.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Get Her to the Church

I did what Dusk asked me to do, I waited for the Will person to contact me, and they didn't. Five weeks passed and not a whisper came from the Will or Dusk or anything connected to the Lower House. Some days (usually mundane school days) I doubted it had even been real. It could just have been a hallucination or a concussion, I was hit by a car after all.

Whenever this thought occurred to me I would reach into my school bag and hold onto the Key tightly. I had taken to carrying it around, not trusting it at home where my little sister could just pick it up any time she wanted. She was twelve and seemed to think my room was now her personal home from home for stealing what little make up I had or using my laptop.

I couldn't begin to understand what had happened on Christmas Eve. I still had no idea who the Will was, or why Dusk was in league with them. I'd worked out that Monday was supposed to have given his Key to someone ages ago and was afraid because the Will had found out that he hadn't, but that was all I knew. So little was happening at home that I stupidly started to let my guard down. Maybe it had all blown over, maybe Mister Monday had forgotten about me.

He hadn't.

"Five minutes ok?" I said irritably as I walked up the steps of the Cathedral.

"Fine!" said my sister Helen, waving her hand breezily. We pushed open the glass doors and were enveloped by that calm yet slightly unnerving air all churches had.

"So where did you leave it?" I asked in muted voice. The pews were empty but I still felt the need to keep it down.

"In the back room, I'll just run and get it." said Helen.

"Well hurry up! You know you're not supposed to be out at lunch time, they'll kill me if they hear I let you out."

Helen ran off to look for her coat which she'd left here yesterday after choir practise. I walked over to the baptizer and sat down with my back to the chilly marble. I checked my watch and clicked my tongue impatiently when I saw it was quarter to one. At this rate we wouldn't have enough time to get back to school and eat lunch. This was some way to spend my eighteenth birthday.

Behind me the side door opened and a blast of damp February air blew in. I glanced around the pillar but the visitor had already turned into the gift shop and out of sight.

"Good day, I was wondering if you could help me." came a voice. I froze, my whole body tense. I knew that voice.

"Oh yes sir? How can I be of assistance?" asked the till lady in a heavy welsh accent. Hardly daring to breath, I got up and leapt from the dais to land cat-like on the flagstones. I scooted over to the shop and peered (still crouched) around the door. The visitor had his back to me but I could see the back of his sleek blond head. No, not here, not right in the middle of town!

"I am Monday's Noon, Mr Monday's executive assistance. He has sent me to inquire after a girl."

My heart was pounding and I ducked out of sight as the till lady said,

"What girl?"

I thought I detected a note of suspicion beneath the accent, perhaps something to do with Noon's Victorian looks.

"She is about yay high, mousy hair, fairly plain looking."

"Blond!" I couldn't help but hiss under my breathe.

"Oh you mean Helen's sister!" said the till lady brightly. "Yes, they came in a few minutes ago."

"Ah! And where might I find her?"

"Through the door next to the pulpit."

"Thank you, you have been most helpful." said Noon sweetly. I glanced around the door again just in time to see him blow some kind of red powder into till lady's face, She sneezed, and then collapsed. I clapped a hand over my mouth to stifle a gasp and Noon whipped around. I shrank back and made a break for the nearest pillar, disappearing just as Noon appeared in the door of the shop.

"Hmm." he said suspiciously, glowering around at the apparently empty church. He advanced down the aisle and then Helen came out of the back room.

"Got it!" she called brightly and my heart stopped. No, no, no, stupid girl!

Noon paused and looked at Helen with his head slightly cocked to one side.

"Good afternoon child, where is your sister?"

Helen looked back at Noon with ill-disguised amusement.

"Dunno, she was just here." she said, taking in Noon's odd appearance and overly prim accent. I wondered whether I should try and let her see me to warn her, but knowing her she'd probably point me out to Noon before she understood my frantic waving. Noon gazed at Helen a little longer and then seemed to come to a decision. He reached in a pouch on his belt and drew out a pinch of the red powder. My hands were digging into my sides as Helen collapsed too. Noon then turned to face the church and said loudly,

"Now then Miss Jones, I know you're there. Come out now if you want to help your sister."

Feeling awful, I slowly came out from my hiding place. Noon smiled cruelly.

"There now, that's better. Now come here child, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want my master's Key back."

I snorted to show how little I thought of this idea. Noon scowled and then seemed to think better of his expression. He changed to what he possibly thought was a caring look but actually was a leer.

"I'm not here for any trouble Caitlyn."

"Catherine." I corrected quietly.

"Whatever." he said carelessly. "Give me the first Key and no one need get hurt."

I glanced at Helen anxiously and edged around Noon to kneel beside her. I checked her pulse which seemed to be ok.

"What did you do to her?" I asked, stalling for time.

"A harmless sleeping dust, she will wake in less than ten minutes." said Noon impatiently. "Now give me the Key!"

I did some very quick thinking, toying with the strap of my school bag. This may not be such a bad thing. I didn't really want the Key and all the trouble that came with it, there was no point in me keeping it. But what if I gave it to him and he killed me? Then again, what if I didn't give it to him and he killed me anyway. I hadn't failed to notice the sword hanging at his hip, or how it was smoking ominously.

"If, if I give you the Key, will you leave me alone?" I asked and Noon sighed.

"Yes, yes, yes, I shall return to the House and no one shall bother you again."

It was a gamble I had to take. Slowly, I undid the zip on my bag and pulled out the Key. Noon's eyes glittered and he took out a hanky from his waistcoat pocket. When I handed him the Key he placed the hanky over it and took great care not to touch it with his bare skin.

He held it gingerly and as I let go, something horrible happened. Pain shot through my chest like a fire and I gasped, my eyes wide in shock. My hand flew to my heart, horror filled panic flooding my mind. Noon, having lost all interest in me, straightened up looking satisfied. He drew powder from another pouch, black and glittering this time, and threw it against the wall. A swirling hole of darkness appeared there.

"You said you wouldn't hurt me!" I choked as Noon stepped towards the hole. He paused and glanced over his shoulder.

"My dear girl, I don't need to." he chuckled nastily. "You were hit by a car remember? The Key was the only thing keeping you alive, now you're going to die like you were supposed to."

Then he stepped into the hole. I don't know what made me do it, maybe it was just my overwhelming desire to live. As his tails vanished through the hole, I used the last of my strength to lunge at him. My hands caught the hem of his coat and the next second I was being sucked down a long dark tunnel. I tried to draw breath to scream but it was like someone had clapped a pillow over my face. I was suffocating! And what was more, I had lost my grip on Noon's coat! I was tumbling head over heels in the void.

And then, weirdly, I fell sideways through what felt like a giant wall of jelly. I tumbled painfully over grass and came to rest on my back. I lay there for a while, slightly stunned by such a turn of events. Eventually I opened my eyes and saw dark glass way above me. It looked like some kind of dome. I struggled to sit and saw that I was on a hill of neatly mown grass and directly in front of me was free standing door. I got up and examined it closely. There seemed to be no purpose to it other than artistic reasons and I walked around it curiously.

As I came around I happened to look down the hill, and my eyebrows shot up. Surrounding the hill were dozens of red-bricked buildings, and the dome enclosed the whole thing. I blinked twice and shook my head. If I hadn't already seen a lot of strange things, this may have been too much for me to handle. I turned back to the door and reached out to touch the big iron knocker.

"That's not a very good idea little human."

I jumped smartly back and stared at the door.

"Who's that?!" I asked.

The iron patterns in the door twisted and screeched into the shape of a man. Then, he stepped out of the door and became flesh and blood. I could not have been more gobsmacked if he had started dancing the cancan. He looked middle aged with greying hair and a serene expression. He smiled kindly at me as I stepped away nervously.

"Hello." he said, in the manner one would use with a child.

"Uh, hi." I answered after I found my voice.

"And what's your name?"

"Cathy Jones."

"Good morning Miss Jones, I am the Lieutenant Keeper of the Front Door."

"R-right, what's that?"

The Keeper patted the wood of the door behind him fondly.

"This is the Front Door, the portal between the House and the mortal world. Every Domain has a station, this is only the Lower House port. I have to patrol the Door, make sure there aren't any unauthorised comings and goings."

"Oh right!" I said, an idea occurring to me. "Did you happen to see a man come through here a few minutes ago? Kind of tall with flippy blond hair."

The Keeper chuckled.

"If you are referring to Monday's Noon, he passed through three days ago. It wasn't exactly a legal trip so I made a note of it. I meant to report it to Mister Monday but appointments are so hard to get."

"Three days?" I said hopelessly. "But I just saw him! I followed him."

"Time is odd inside the Door, as it is between the House and Earth. Time is much slower out there."

I sighed and glanced around.

"Well I'll never catch up to him now, I guess I'll just go home."

"Ah I would strongly advice against that." said the Keeper worriedly. "I detected rather a lot of internal chest damage when you passed through. The House holds you in stasis but if you return to Earth I doubt you'll survive."

"What do I do?! I can't stay here for ever! I've got to get back to my sister!"

The Keeper seemed to take pity on me.

"You should find Monday's Dusk, he'll help you. I'd be cautious though, a human of your age is sure to stick out in the House.

"Ok, thanks!" I said gratefully. The Keeper touched his cap to me.

"A pleasure meeting you Miss Jones. Now, I must away. Shift change is always a busy time and I must be extra vigilant. Good day to you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, I've taken a bit of poetic licence here and will for the rest of the story. I know there are a few plot differences so its not exactly canon but the gist is still the same. **

Chapter Three

Custodian

The city was severely weird. It was silent as the grave and almost devoid of life. Those few people who were pottering about had that, dogged, couldn't give a fuck about life, look about them. The first street I came to was called Moon's Street and it was lined with row after row of offices. None of them bore names I could understand and none had a convenient sign pointing to where I might find Dusk. I wasn't too keen on approaching anyone for directions until it was absolutely necessary. So instead I walked on until I came to a square with a fountain in the middle. Loose bits of paper littered the pavement and I stepped over these with care. I looked around with a frown.

"It's too quiet." I muttered to myself.

Suddenly, a loud whistle interrupted the silence and I looked around in surprise. A timid man in an oversized coat was pulling on a string connected to an old fashioned whistle on the wall of the nearest building. He let it blare for five seconds before scurrying away into his booth and shutting the door with a snap. A low rumbling started up and a tray of fountain pens abandoned on the floor next to me rattled ominously. I swallowed nervously.

People burst out of every door on the square and filling the place in seconds with hustle and bustle. I was pushed hither and thither as elbows farced me aside into the path of yet more commuters. Everyone was arguing and ordering me out of their way. The tide swept me towards a huge building that may have once been grand. But as I passed through the huge doors I saw how dilapidated it looked, with green tiles chipped off the walls and a scuffed floor.

I battled my way free from the crowd by climbing on top of a statue and clinging on, slightly winded. I gazed around the hall in shock at the determined men and women. Lining both sides of the hall were little booths of lifts with grate doors. Queues were forming on the left whilst streams of people poured out of the right with unnatural rapidity. I watched for a while with my mouth slightly open. A lift would arrive, unload its twenty or so passengers, and then disappear in the floor, making way for another. The process was quite mesmerising and I had to shake my head to clear it.

Unless I was very much mistaken I had just witnessed the madness of a morning shift change because the outside dome lightened suddenly and sunlight poured in through the glass roof. Nobody was standing still even for a few seconds. I spotted a few kids wending their way around at waist height but I lost them before I could get a proper look. I had just gone on tip toes to see if I could see where they were going when —

"Oi! Get down from there!"

Someone grabbed the back of my jumper and yanked me off the statue. I staggered backwards and fell flat on the floor. Three people were standing over me, two men and a woman. They all wore long red coats buttoned up to the chin and black cloth helmets similar to a fez and strapped under the chin. The tallest man leant down to pick me up by the front of my uniform.. Once I was upright my toes barely brushed the floor.

"What do you think you're doing?!" he asked. "Climbing all over Mister Monday's statue!"

I glanced up and, sure enough, recognised the face of my kidnapper. I hadn't noticed it was him at first because the sculptor had done a good job of sucking in his waistline.

"I'm sorry!" I said fearfully. "I'm sorry I'm sorry! I didn't know it was him, I just wanted some space!"

The man squinted at me.

"What the Void are you anyway?" Are you a denizen?"

"Y-yes." I said, not knowing what the hell that was. The woman poked me.

"Bit runty for a denizen. Could have sworn it was human."

"Nah, its too old." said the second man. "Does that look like a Piper's Child to you?"

"Please, I'm really sorry, please let me down." I said, since my jumper was starting to dig in under my arms. The police (because that's what I guessed they were) seemed unwilling to let me wander off though the one holding me did lower me back flat on my feet.

"What's your precedence?" he snapped.

"Uh, I don't know." I said nervously.

"Who's your superior then? Where do you work?"

"Um…"

I did some very quick thinking and an idea occurred to me.

"Monday's Dusk!" I said quickly. "He's my boss, do you know where he is?"

"Do we look like me were made last century?" demanded the officer angrily. "You're too short to be a Midnight Visitor. You trying to be funny or something?"

"No!" I squeaked in alarm.

"I think she's skiving off her shift. Thought you'd take a nice little break in Grand Station eh?"

"What should we do with it?" asked the woman.

"Protocol says we have to register the incident and deliver her back to her place of work." said the other man.

"How are we supposed to do that if she's too thick to remember her precedence?"

"I'll go back to work by myself, I promise!" I said hopefully. They ignored me.

"I say we dump her at the station, she's the clerks' problem then."

So, with much protesting and shoving, they hauled me over to the first queue of people waiting for a lift. The police marched right past the waiters and took an entire lift for themselves. I could see the people glaring at us as the grill closed. The lift dropped dramatically and sent me to the floor. Then I stopped just as suddenly and started going left which hurled me into a wall instead. The police were all gripping the railing tightly and I copied them, pulling myself upright. After five minutes the lift stopped completely and the tallest man tisked irritably.

"Hunk of junk, why do these things never run properly anymore?" he complained, banging the panel covered in buttons with his fist.

The lift creaked and groaned and set over again, all be it jerkily. Eventually it stopped at the right station and I was pushed out into a corridor. It was a shabby place, with peeling wall paper and a humming lamp hanging from the ceiling. I looked around at the officers who were still in the lift.

"Room at the end." said the woman curtly. "Go in and wait your turn, ok?"

Then the grill closed and again they disappeared. I looked around and spotted the door she had mentioned. I had no intention of being arrested, that would be a spectacular way to announce myself to Monday. Instead I turned around and pressed the button for the lift. I would take it somewhere other than the Atrium and then ask around for Monday's Dusk. I waited, but the lift didn't come back.

"Come on." I muttered under my breath, jabbing the button repeatedly.

"That's not going to work." said a voice. I spun around and found a forlorn man standing in first of me, holding a cup of tea. "Only the Commissionaires can use that lift."

"Oh." I said, disappointed. "Is there another way out of here?"

"Nope, only way out is to be discharged, and the quickest way to do that is to go and get a ticket."

He pointed at the door at the far end of the corridor and I sighed. I thanked him gloomily and walked towards the door. On the other side I found a room packed with people. It looked like some kind of waiting room. Some people were sitting down, others were standing, still others were arguing with the 'commissionaires' behind the desks. I looked around in some disarray. There wasn't a single window on the drab walls. I gulped and stepped forwards to a desk where a woman was gesticulating wildly as she complained to the commissionaire.

"I've been here for years! Isn't someone going to process my case?!" she demanded furiously.

"When we've filled out the paperwork for all these others!" shot back the commissionaire. "No go and sit down to wait your turn."

The woman stomped away and I got a chance to speak.

"Uh, sorry, but, I just got here and I think there's been some kind of mistake. I didn't do anything wrong, I just need to find Monday's Dusk."

"Ticket." said the commissionaire boredly, pointing at a little machine to her right.

There was a stub of paper sticking out of it and I tore it off uncertainly. It had the number 98, 564 written on it. I tried to ask the commissionaire what the number meant but she just shooed me away. I went to sit down and think over my situation. If I could just convince someone that I worked for Dusk then I could get out of here much quicker. Dusk was quite important after all, so anyone who worked for him was also important. Then again, I didn't want someone to go and get Monday's Noon or Dawn either.

"Hello again." said the sombre man from outside, sitting down beside me and balancing the cup of tea on the armrest. "I see you got your ticket."

"Yeah, what does the number mean?"

"It means you will be seen when the other 98, 563 denizens have been seen, look."

As I watched the paper rippled and the number changed to 98, 563.

"How long do you think that will take?"

"Who knows, there are dozens of other waiting rooms and the commissionaires don't exactly rush their job. I've been here for six months already."

I stared at him in horror.

"Six months?!" I cried. "You're kidding right?"

"No. Gladys over there has been her for three years. I must say, I don't look forward to seeing my attendance sheet when I get back to the archives."

I got to my feet so quickly that my head spun.

"I have to get out of here!" I said desperately. "I have to find Dusk!"

"Don't cause a stir." said the shabby man warningly. "Best to just wait it out, here, have some tea."

I tried to talk to each of the three commissionaires in turn but none of them seemed to want to hear what I had to say. Then I tried talking to the other 'denizens' but they all seemed either irritated or amused by my insistence that I knew Monday's Dusk. Eventually I looked for someone with a smaller number, thinking I could swap with them. I wasted almost the whole day in that damn waiting room. As the clock on the wall slowly inched its way towards eight pm and my eyes drooped terribly, I felt someone tug on my sleeve.

My head, which had been resting on my hand, jerked up and I looked around. A girl was crouched next to my chair, looking intently at me. She looked to be about the same age as Helen, no more that twelve at the most. Her hair was dark and messy, in fact her whole face was grubby. She was wearing boys clothes that seemed far too big for her and she grinned at me toothily.

"Wotcher." she said in a whisper. "You by any chance a human called Catherine Jones?"

"Yeah, did Dusk send you?!" I asked eagerly and the girl nodded.

"He said you'd got yourself in a spot of bother. Hang on, Fred and Harry are gonna cause a distraction then we're going to sneak out all quiet like, k?"

I didn't have a chance to agree or disagree before a puff of black smoke exploded in the corner, covering one of the Commissionaires from head to foot it soot. They coughed and spluttered and the girl grabbed my hand to yank me out of my chair. Whilst everyone else was busy shouting and spluttering, she pulled me through the crowd to a second back room. This one was full of denizens too and we came to a hatch in the wall. The opened it to reveal a metal shoot just big enough for someone my size.

"Come on quick!" she hissed, pushing me into the chute. I toppled over and slid down it at top speed. I shot out the other end into a basket full of sheets. I struggled to get out but was knocked over by the girl as she hurtled out behind me.

"Ah, piece of cake." she said, jumping to her feet and dusting herself off in a business like way. "And Dusk was worried!"

"H-how did Dusk know where I was?!" I asked, struggling to my feet and kicking away the tangled sheets. Looking around I saw we were in yet another corridor, if anything shabbier than the one above us.

"Lieutenant Keeper of the Door sent 'im a telegram. Then it was just a matter of asking around to see if anyone had seen a crazy tall human wondering around. Oh! And there's Fred and Harry right on time!"

Two boys about the same age as the girl had just tumbled out of the shoot. I stepped out of their way but they seemed as un-phased as their female counterpart. One had curly red hair and the other untidy black locks. The pair of them were just as sooty faced as the girl and their clothes, farmers caps included, were riddled with holes and patches. The girl on the other hand was jamming a battered old top had onto her tanged head of hair.

"Righty ho, let's get moving then." she said. At that second a door further down the corridor burst open and half a dozen Commissionaires burst out.

"Stop those brats!" one of them yelled and the children ran, pulling me along after them. We all hurtled into a second lift and the girl turned to me grinning.

"By the way," she said, grabbing the grill. "I'm Suzy Turquoise Blue."

Then she slammed the grill shut and slapped a button which took us up at top speed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Orphans Are We

The lift juddered frighteningly and then slowed to a reasonable speed again. The children were all busy dusting themselves off and the girl called Suzy said,

"There now, that weren't so bad."

"Uh, thanks for getting me out of there." I said and Suzy shrugged, grinning her toothy grin.

"No probs, Dusk told us to and us Piper's Kids do our jobs when gold is concerned. Paid us 'andsomely he did."

"R-right." I said uncertainly. "So, uh, where is he? I really need to talk to him and sort this mess out!"

"Hold ya horses there Cathy!" scolded Suzy. "We just got you out! Ya can't just swan off all on ya lonesome! No, we're gonna take you 'ome, get ya some decent House clothes and then one of the boys is gonna go get Dusk for yaz."

"How come it's got to be one of us eh?" asked the red haired boy called Fred peevishly. Suzy turned to him with a cool expression.

"Cause I'm the leader and I says so." she said bossily. The boys scowled and I supressed a grin. She was exactly like Helen, just with a cooler accent. Suzy sat down on the floor and indicated for me to do the same.

"It'll be a while." she explained. "Our floor's a long way off."

"Will those, com-commisire-thingies, will they tell Mister Monday that I got away?" I asked nervously as I settled cross-legged on the floor.

"Commissionaires." said Suzy helpfully. "And, no. They probs don't even know you're human."

I gazed at her in confusion.

"Soooo, they aren't human?" I asked slowly. The children looked at me in surprise.

"Didn't Dusk explain to ya nothing?" asked the boy called Harry, from his perch on the railings and I shook my head.

"All I know is that Mister Monday gave me this Key so he wouldn't get into trouble with someone called the Will." I said, shrugging. "Dusk was too busy trying to get me home to go into detail about stuff. I don't even know what the House is!"

"Its sort of another dimension." explained Suzy. "It's a bit tricky to understand. It definitely aint on Earth, that's for sure. It was made by the Architect ages and ages ago."

"Who's the Architect?" I asked and Suzy threw up her arms.

"Your blooming joking! You don't know about her?"

"Well haven't exactly been here very long." I said, somewhat defensively. Suzy sighed yet again.

"Ok, ok, let's start from the beginning. Before there was Earth, or a universe, or even the House, there was Nothing. With a capital N, mind you. It's this really dangerous black stuff, sort of looks like oil. If ya touch it, it melts ya, and sometimes monsters come out of it.

But it's also really useful, cause if you've got magic, or a Key, you can make stuff out of it. Anything you like. Anyways, the Architect appeared at the beginning of Time and moulded the Nothing into the universe. After a while, earth was made, and a while after that, us humans appeared. The Architect likes us see? Or she did, so she copied some of our ideas, ideas like record houses."

"And, that's what the House is? Just a big recording House?" I asked, trying to keep up. Suzy nodded.

"Yep, the Lower House is basically just the Archives bit. There are six other Domains, but I aint never seen them. Only denizens move between the Domains really."

"And, denizens are…?"

"They're all the adults here." explained Fred. "The Architect made them to do the records and stuff. They aint too bright though, just copies of us really."

At this point the lift came to a standstill and the grill slid open. Suzy tugged me to my feet and lead me outside. We weren't in a corridor this time, but back it Grand Station. I looked around but then ducked my head as I spotted yet more red coated Commissionaires. We left the station and I found myself back on the square again. It was quieter now and the dome far above our heads was getting dark once more.

"We live just down here." said Suzy briskly, leading me down a side street that was narrower and dingier than any of the others. "Harry, you go and find Dusk. He should be out soon with the Midnight Visitors."

"Who are they?" I asked as Harry waved and ran off into the gathering gloom.

"Just the night watchmen, they protect us from Nithlings once the Commissionaires have clocked off their shift."

"Oh." I said. Then a few moments later. "What are Nithlings?"

"Those monsters I told you about. Ah! Here we are! Home sweet home."

We were standing outside a dilapidated old terrace house with tiles missing from the roof and boarded up windows. I glanced at Suzy uncertainly, wondering if she was joking. Apparently she wasn't because she strode up to the chipped front door and pushed it open. I followed her and was met with a scene of chaos.

"Suzy!" cried several grubby children, running into the hall and hugging her. Suzy chuckled and pushed her way into the sitting room were the wooden floor was covered in old blankets and rags. Yet more children were jumping on the sofas or playing cards in the corner. Suzy climbed on top of the table and whistled to get everyone's attention.

"Everyone!" she called. "This is Cathy, don't worry, she's human like us! She needs a place to crash so if any bossy snoops come looking for her, she was _never here_, got it?"

The children all agreed and Suzy jumped down cheerfully.

"Right, let's get you something to wear." she said happily. I followed her upstairs, a niggling worry growing in my mind.

"Suzy?" I asked cautiously and she rummaged through a wardrobe in one of the bedrooms. "Where are your parents?"

Suzy stiffened, her head still buried in the closet.

"Aint got none." she said roughly after a few moments. "Don't need none neither."

I watched her for a while before asking,

"How did you get here Suzy? You're human! What are you doing in a place like this?"

I could have sworn I heard Suzy sniff but when she turned back to me her face was neutral.

"Long story." she explained as she handed me some clothes to try on. "We've been for ages now, can't really remember Earth much. There we all was one day, and the next we was here. The Piper brought us to the House with his pipe. It was sort of hypnotic, you know? So now we're stuck here, been here too long to go back."

"How many kids are there in the House?" I asked, pulling my jumper off and a threadbare black dress on.

"Not sure, hundreds probably. Like I said I aint been outside the Lower House. All of us here, we're Ink Fillers, or Matchstick Makers, Harry works as a runner in the Post Office. No good jobs for Pipers Kids. There now! That looks better."

I looked down at my new outfit. The dress was far too short for me and the apron was full of holes. But being of a polite nature I thanked Suzy all the same. She yawned hugely.

"Well, I'm knackered. We should all turn in, Harry'll probs send a telegram when he's found Dusk."

We went back downstairs where the kids were all getting into their makeshift sleeping bags. Suzy graciously pointed me towards one of the sofas and I gratefully lay down. The fire was crackling in the fireplace as I closed my eyes.

Things were hardly any clearer now than they had been before Christmas, I reflected moodily. I still didn't know who the Will was or what the Key was for, or how I was going to be able to go home without gasping to death! These worries fluttered against my skull like butterflies trapped in a glass jar as I nodded off.

Harry the Piper's Boy crept along the darkened streets of the Atrium, nervously glancing over his shoulder every few seconds. It was very quiet, but as he passed offices and archives, he could still hear the occasional tapping of typewriters or the murmur of the night shift workers. It was very creepy, lurking around after dark but Harry was well used to it, as were most of Suzy's underground gang. They ran a very lucrative black-market trade in tea, clothes and spices, and for the most part kept out of political matters.

But all that had changed when, about a year ago, Monday's Dusk had caught Suzy herself trying to break into a top-security biscuit pantry. Instead of charging her with trespass and attempted burglary, Dusk had recruited her and her fellows to be his personal spies and runners. Harry had to admit to himself it was a much better job than making shifty back alley deals with denizens. Dusk paid them well, although they were still poor by House standards and stuck in their rundown terrace house.

The boy ducked out of sight behind a paper cart as a troop of Midnight Visitors went past. He peered between the spokes of the wheels and frowned slightly. There were Commissionaires mixed in with the Visitors, most of them yawning hugely. The troop was being led by none other than Monday's Noon, looking very haughty. Harry gulped and looked up. Sure enough there were brightly lit winged denizens swooping back and forth with search lights in their hands. So the Dawn and her Inspector Corps were out too were they?

Harry backed down an ally way feeling very worried. This was not good, it looked like the whole apparatus of the Lower House knew Cathy was here and were looking for her. At that moment he screamed a muffled scream as someone clapped a hand over his mouth from behind.

"Be quiet, I mean you no harm." whispered a hoarse voice in his ear. Harry stilled and pulled the hand away from his mouth.

"'ello Mr Dusk sir, message from Suzy Blue."

Harry twisted around and found himself face to face with Monday's Dusk who was looking as worried as he was. The denizen nodded solemnly.

"I thought as much, did you succeed in your mission?"

"Yep, Cathy's back at our place, Suzy's been filling her in."

"Has she explained to her about her role as Heiress?" asked Dusk urgently and Harry shook his head.

"Nope, we thought we'd let the Will do that."

"Good, we'll have to bring about a meeting between them."

Dusk broke off as whistles sounded from the street. The searchlights were all trained on one spot now, and Harry had a bad feeling he knew where. Dusk's eyes were fixed on sliver of the street visible at the end of the ally.

"Make yourself scarce boy, things are about to get complicated." he said grimly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Yey! Exams finally over so I can get down to some proper writing now, **

Chapter 5

Midnight Flight

I had barely managed to drop off to sleep when I was being shaken awake again.

"Cathy! Come on, we gots to move it mate!" Suzy was whispering urgently. I blinded blearily and sat up. There was a lot of commotion in the living room, the Piper's Children were all running around, stuffing tins and papers out of sight but all the while staying as quiet as possible. Through the holes in the threadbare curtains I saw lights flashing and shadows of at least a dozen people. I sprang to my feet, my heart thudding hard inside my chest.

"Suzy, what's happening?" I asked fearfully and she flapped her arms at me to be quiet. She then clicked her fingers at a couple of other children who knelt down and rolled the shabby carpet up. There was a trap door concealed in the planks of the floor and Suzy yanked it open.

"Quick! Get down there!" she hissed at me and I grabbed my shoes and complied with her command.

I scuttled down the creaking ladder into a dingy little room with brick walls and a powerful smell of damp. Suzy leapt down after me and closed the trapdoor, allowing her friends to roll the carpet back into place. And just in time, for at this moment the front door burst open. There were screams from the children as a good few people moved into the hall and through the rest of the house. I peered up at the floor of the living room as trapping boots made it vibrate frighteningly.

"Everybody stay still!" commanded a fierce female voice and movement ceased. I found a small hole in the planks and angled my head to look anxiously through it. Someone walked into the living room, someone with shiny black boots and tan britches. I bit back a curse of fear. Monday's Noon was peering around with an expression of distaste on his handsome face.

Fred's voice sounded, quavering yet determined.

"Can we 'elp you sir?"

Noon turned to look in Fred's direction so I lost sight of his face. He spoke, loudly and clearly.

"We have had information concerning a human female called Catherine Jones, according to our source she was seen entering this building a few hours ago in the company of three of you grubby little brats."

"How about that." said Fred dryly. Noon stepped over to him and I held my breath.

"Give her up to us and you can have a shiny roundel for your troubles little boy." said Noon in his falsely fatherly voice. Apparently none of the children were very impressed by this because silence met his words. Noon turned around again so I could see his expression was now ugly.

"Fine, if that's the way you want to play it, tear this hovel apart!" he barked at the commissionaires. "Find that girl! Tell the Midnight Visitors to cover the streets in case she tries to escape."

There were cries of protest from the children as the Commissionaires proceeded to smash their way through the house. Fred actually shouted,

"You can't do that! You aint got a warrant!"

Noon spun around and slapped the boy around the face. I gasped and my hands flew to my mouth to stifle the noise. But the damage was done. Noon looked down at the floor and I backed away from the hole. Suzy yanked the back of my dress and I turned to see her half way through a hole in the bricks.

"Come on!" she mouthed and disappeared. I followed her quickly and hurtled, half bent because of the low ceiling, down an earthen tunnel. It extended for a long way, at least ten minutes in length, and finally came to a dead end.

"What now?" I asked, still in a cautious undertone. Suzy pointed up and I saw a round grate there, and through the metal mesh the starry dome of the Atrium. Suzy asked for a boost and then she lifted the grate away for her to climb out. I followed clumsily and she hauled on my arm in help.

"What's going to happen to the other kids?" I asked, peering around at the ally we were in.

"Oh they'll be ok." said Suzy, replacing the grate carefully and straightening up. "We're always getting raided. Now, we need to get a good way away from 'ere."

I followed her again, quite exhausted by all this running. Occasionally a bright light flew over our heads and Suzy would throw out a hand indicating we should press ourselves against the wall. We continued in silence for a while before, quite unexpectedly, a piece of paper materialized in thin air in front of us. It floated down and Suzy caught it. Her eyes flit back and forth quickly as she read what was written.

"Telegram from Dusk." she said handing it to me. "Says we should go to The Efficiencer General's Office, we can rendezvous with the Will there."

"Are you sure it's actually from Dusk?" I asked worriedly, peering at the black, print letters on the paper. "Couldn't it be a trick?"

"Nah, it's got his seal, an' that's impossible to fake. Now let's go, if we hurry we can get there before morning."

I was sure I would soon be sick of traveling in lifts as we took yet another to the meeting place. We did not fulfil Suzy's hope of getting there before dawn and as we stepped out of the lift the ceiling lightened to a rosy pink. This new room we were in was even odder than the Atrium or the Commissionaire Station. It was full of trees for a start, the lift itself concealed in the trunk of one.

In the middle there was a space of meadowy grass, cut in half by a bubbling stream. Across this there was bandstand with a desk in it and on the grass before it an ornate little table set out with tea things. Dusk was sitting casually on a folding chair beside it, holding a cup and saucer. He was having tea, with a frog.

I stared at the animal as we crossed the little wooden bridge over the stream. It was sitting on the table next to a regular sized blue willow pattern cup of clear brown tea and as we approached it turned its googly eyes to look at me.

"Ah! Good morning to you girls!" said Dusk graciously, getting up and waving his hands. Two extra chairs materialized and thumped softly onto the grass. I started forward to catch one before it fell over. Suzy and I sat down, still staring at the frog.

"I'm glad you could make it in time." said Dusk as he settled down in his garden chair again and took up his tea cup. "Can I offer you some tea?"

I glanced at him with a slight frown. Tea?! We we're in the middle of a crisis! There wasn't time for tea! But apparently I was the alone in this sentiment because Suzy said,

"Don't mind if I do, don't often get to have the fancy stuff."

She poured herself a cup and I looked around in confusion.

"So, when's the Will getting here?" I asked. Dusk seemed to suppress a smile and I nearly had a heart attack when the frog on the table went,

"Eh-hem, I'm down here."

I clutched the arms on my chair and half rose to my feet, mouthing at the frog.

"Did, uh, have I gone mad?" I asked weakly. The frog held out its webbed hand towards me.

"No Miss Jones, I am the First part of the Great Architect's Will. I am pleased to finally meet the Rightful Heiress."

Still stunned, I reached out to shake the Will's tiny hand between thumb and forefinger. I didn't know what I'd been expecting, but certainly not this. Suzy snorted at the expression on my face and said,

"Close ya gob mate, a fly might go in!"

I did as she said but still had my eyes wide.

"I wasn't, I mean, I thought you'd be a person or something." I said to the Will who sighed heavily.

"A minor complication, my form is bound by the First Key so until you regain control of it, I am, to use a mortal term, stuck."

Its voice was deep and booming, totally weird coming out of such a tiny animal. It looked like a little green gum drop left by someone on the table. There was an awkward pause until Dusk said,

"Well, Catherine has something to ask you Will."

"Oh yeah!" I said, remembering. "So, there's been some kind of problem with the whole Key business."

"What kind of problem?" asked the Will, its eyes narrowing.

"Well, I think Monday must have given it to me by accident or something coz,"

"It was no accident." interpreted the Will. "I chose your record specifically, or rather Dusk did and I approved it."

"That was you?! Why?" I asked, completely forgetting about my problem. The Will sat back on its hind legs and folded its hands together importantly.

"I see you have not been properly informed of these matters. Allow me to explain. You know of the Architect I trust?"

I nodded dubiously because I wasn't quite sure if I did understand completely. The Will disregarded my confused expression, or maybe it just didn't notice.

"I am Her Will. Some millennia ago She because concerned about what may ensue should anything happen to Her."

"What sort of thing?"

"I do not know, I believe She was merely being cautious. The important point is that She drew up a Will and instilled it with conscious thought to ensure it would be fulfilled."

"Let me guess, something happened to Her." I said. I could already see where this was going, even if I couldn't see how I fit in with it. The Will scowled.

"Indeed." it said gravely. "Ten thousand years ago by House time, She disappeared. She had appointed the seven Days to rule the domains and care for the Keys of power which went with them. However, now I had a duty. The Architect always intending for me to appoint a human to be Her Heir and rule the House in Her stead. So I started looking into certain records of humans to see if there was anyone suitable."

There was a sinking feeling in my heart, now I could see where I came into this. The Will now had a dark look in its eyes and Dusk was looking away awkwardly.

"Unfortunately," the Will continued, its voice shaking from suppressed anger. "I did not have a chance to fulfil my duty. The Trustees had grown fond of their Keys and the power. So, they tried to destroy me. The fools, as if anything made by the Architect's hand could be so easily destroyed! But they did rip me into seven pieces. Each Day took a piece and locked it away."

It paused, apparently speaking about this was painful and I felt a stab of pity for it. The frog took a deep breath and continued.

"But around three years ago by House time, Monday's Dusk helped me escape my bonds."

"I remember." said Suzy unexpectedly, grinning. "Everyone had their knickers in a twist, or at least the high ups were, us, not so much. It was funny seeing 'em all run around though."

"In any case," said the Will, shooting Suzy an irritable look for the interruption. "Dusk helped me select a suitable record and set things into motion."

"Why did you chose mine?!" I asked desperately. "Wasn't there anyone better?"

"Oh probably." shrugged the Will. "Undoubtedly. But there wasn't time to peruse the records for long. You were chosen at random. You seemed fairly reasonable. Young, healthy, a conveniently isolated death on an ordinary Monday. Nothing to cause Mister Monday to suspect foul play. It had to look like you'd been plucked from the recently deceased records at random, which in effect you were."

"So, I was really going to die last Christmas?" I asked in a small voice. "I'm supposed to be dead right now?"

"Yes, but you are kept alive simply by virtue of being the Heiress, making you semi denizen. You could still be killed of course, but not of natural causes."

"Why did I start to choke once I gave Monday's Noon the Key then?"

"Because in giving the Key away you relinquished your claim on it. However, Monday no longer has complete control of it either, having already named you as its true owner. So in effect neither and both of you can use it, but not properly whilst the other still has a claim."

"Right..." I said, screwing up my face as I processed this complicated information. "So, if I went home without the Key, I'd die?"

"Yes, but you won't be returning to Earth even if you do regain the First Key. You're place is here, as ruler of the Lower House and, in time, the rest of the House."

"What?!" I cried. "No no! Hold on, I don't want to be Heiress or whatever!"

"That isn't really your choice young lady." said the Will, coolly. I stared at it for a while. Eventually I shook my head and tried again.

"Look, I'm really sorry about this, but I'm not cut out to rule anywhere! I've got plans back home, and I don't want to leave my parents or my sister, or anyone! Can't you find someone else to be Heir?"

"No, and even if I could, you would die the moment you relinquished full claim." said the Will, sniffily, as if it thought I was being impertinent. I sat back in my chair and looked at Dusk for help. He set his cup down and seemed to be choosing his words very carefully.

"I understand your reluctance Miss Jones, truly I do. But you must see the position you are in. If you do not assume your rightful claim, your future looks bleak indeed. Even if you stay here in the House, Mister Monday will not allow you to live. Your claim threatens him, not to mention the other Days who will not hesitate to strike if they hear of this."

My shoulders slumped and I felt small and vulnerable. Whichever course I took, looked like it would end in disaster. Fiddling with my fingers agitatedly, I said,

"Ok, just for a second, let's say I'll do it, what exactly would I have to do? I wouldn't have to kill Monday would I?"

"Primarily you must complete your full claim to the First Key." said the Will, looking relieved by my cooperation. "A simple incantation is all that's needed. Of course you need to be holding the Key at the time."

"So I need to steal the Key back off Monday?" I asked. "That sounds dangerous."

"Nah it'll be a doddle." shrugged Suzy. "Monday's always snoring his head off, all you need to do is sneak into the Day Room."

"That's where I was the first time I came here right?" I asked and Dusk took over.

"Yes it is, which is where I come in. Monday has banned everyone from the Day Room whilst he attempts to force the Key to do his bidding. He fears the Will, even Dawn, Noon and myself are not allowed to enter without real reason anymore. But I know of a weird-way which takes us directly into the Day Room grounds."

"What's a weird-way?"

"Its just a short cut." Suzy explained. "We use 'em all the time."

"Ok, ok." I said. I steeled myself. "If I get the Key back, then can I go home and not die?"

"No! You have to stay!" said the Will in exasperation. "I have already explained this to you!"

"But I don't want-" I began but Dusk cut across us.

"I think we should cross that bridge when we come to it." he said pointedly. "For now, we may concentrate on the task at hand."

"Quite right." said Suzy, throwing her head back to drain her tea cup before jumping to her feet. "Come on slow pokes, what we all sitting around for? Monday's Noon might show up any mo!"

"Ah yes, my brother." said Dusk with a pained expression. "He will prove to be troublesome. We must move quickly and out of sight."

I felt I was being overridden here and so, apparently, did the Will. It gave me a stern look and said,

"We will continue this later."

Can't wait, I thought darkly.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Upstairs Downstairs

The Will hopped from the table to cling to the sleeve of my patched dress.

"We will take an elevator to the Ante-Chamber, it is the nearest floor to the Day Room." said Dusk, leading the way over. But as we approached, he stopped dead in his tracks. He was staring at the panel above the lift, showing which floors the lift was passing. The needle was slowly moving clockwise, noting that the lift was coming up.

"Someone is coming." said Dusk quietly, tensely.

"Monday's Noon!" the Will cried, climbing up to my shoulder, its feet pinching the skin on my arm.

"Quick! Let's get out of here!" I said, backing away and looking for another door. I spotted one and hurried over to wrench it open. It was locked.

"Shit!" I hissed under my breath. The Will pinched me particularly hard and said sternly,

"Language! And all you need to do is command it to unlock, you held the First Key for two Earth months did you not?"

"Uh, unlock?" I said uncertainly. The door flew open with such force that I, still holding onto the handle, was thrown backwards. There was a flight of stairs on the other side and I started to race up them, but Dusk pushed past me and grabbed my hand.

"This will be swifter!" he said. "Take Suzy's hand."

I reached behind me and groped. Suzy caught hold of me and Dusk sped up, dragging us along behind him.

"Hold on tightly! Whatever you do, don't let go!" he cried. The next thing I knew there was a flash of bright light and the dark stairwell had vanished, replaced by a spiralling marble staircase, with no walls, ceiling or visible floor. My head spun and I stumbled.

"Oh." I groaned, shaking from head to still running feet. I despised heights.

"What is this?" asked Suzy, and I felt her lean over the edge dangerously to look down. I tugged her upright, my grip tightening.

"The Improbable Stair." said the Will. "The Architect's personal method of transportation for reaching all corners of her creation. Generally it is only those with an object of power, such as the Days, who can travel on it."

"I have been practising." said Dusk, his voice a little strained. "I took a course in magic in the Upper House some centuries ago and some of what I learnt lingers."

"How long do we have to be on this thing?" I asked, my eyes squeezed tight shut.

"A few minutes hopefully, unless the Stair is feeling vindictive." said Dusk, mysteriously.

"So where are we going again?" I asked.

"Don't say that!" The Will and Dusk cried at the same time. But too late, the Stair made a deafening noise like a klaxon and turned into a long, slippery slide. We all over balanced and slid down it, finally toppling over the edge. Before I could draw breath to scream, I hit the floor with a soft, thump. I lay there, stunned from shock and terror, until Dusk hauled me to my feet. We were in the middle of a field with the odd sheep gazing curiously at us. I looked up and saw blue sky, so we were no longer in the House.

"Fool!" spat the Will, hopping once more up my skirts and onto my arm. "Never doubt on the Stair! Or it will drop you on a landing. Now we have to find it again!"

Dusk was already on the job before I had finished saying sorry. There was a stile in the corner which he turned into steps immediately. Once more we were on the stair and this time, I resolved to keep my mouth shut for the whole journey.

It was to be a short one. We had barely gone a dozen steps when the Improbable Stair disappeared beneath our feet and I went tumbling to the ground once more. This time however, I had a soft landing. We sent cushions flying as we bounced on a plush red velvet sofa and then rolled onto the carpeted floor.

"Blimy!" Suzy groaned, pushing herself up on her hands and knees. My long skirts had got tangled around my jeans and I kicked them free.

"Next time, I vote we take the bus." I said darkly. Then I looked around at the room we were in. It had a wooden pole in the middle, and the light was shining through the fabric walls.

"Why are we in a tent?" I asked. I was warm in here, a damn sight warmer than it had been in the Atrium anyway. There were lots of fussy little side tables and puffs, making it difficult to navigate. My legs were still trembling from the journey so I collapsed on the sofa. The Will jumped from the armrest to the nearest table, making a wet plop as it landed.

"This is one of thousands of tents encamped in Monday's Ante-chamber." it explained. "Monday only completes two appointments every House year so there are many denizens waiting to see him."

"What, they wait years and years just to talk to him?" I asked in surprise. "What about their jobs? I thought the House was supposed to record stuff that went on in the universe, how is it going to do that if everyone is stuck in a queue?"

"It isn't." said the Will darkly. "That is exactly the problem. All the Days are afflicted with, well I suppose you might call it's a kind of sickness, in Monday's case it is Sloth. Hardly anything gets done properly in the Lower House, records are not sorted and stored correctly and the other services the Lower House provides to all the other domains aren't done right either."

"How come someone doesn't sort it out?" I asked. This was all very perplexing. If something was as wrong as this in a company on Earth, someone would surely sack the person causing the problem or else just get on with it and sort it out themselves. The Will and Dusk exchanged raised eyebrows.

"Denizens don't 'sort things out', Miss Jones." said Dusk delicately. "It just isn't our way. Only those who hold the Keys can govern the House and no denizen can oppose them, it simply isn't done. We were created to serve and follow orders. Those of a higher precedence may take some initiative from time to time but on the whole we simply do as we are told."

"Is that what you're doing? Taking initiative?" I asked, before I realised this might be a rude thing to do. Dusk gave me a very odd look.

"I am loyal to the Architect and the rightful ruler of the Lower House. I now see that Monday is not that ruler."

I felt myself blushing and was about to mumble an apology when Suzy spoke up.

"Are we gonna hang around here having a nice chat or are we gonna get out there and kick the bad guys arse?"

"The weird way into the Day Room is only open for a few minutes each day." said Dusk, all briskness once more. He checked his pocket watch and twiddled the dials, almost absently. "We have a few hours to go. I shall scout around, determine which is the safest route for us, and then return."

He moved towards the flap of the tent but then paused and looked me and Suzy up and down with a critical eye.

"You might want to change." he suggested. "Disguise yourselves. No doubt word will have gotten around by now that there is an unauthorised mortal in the House. I'll be back soon."

And then he was gone, the flap falling into place behind him. I looked around the tent again and played with the edge of a cushion. I could hear talking outside the fabric walls and the occasional distant sound of clapping. My eyes found the Will and it crossed its arms, looking for too haughty for me to take it seriously.

"Now then young lady," it began sternly. "What's all this nonsense about returning to your home?"

Suzy let out a small sigh and went to poke around in the chests at the other end of the tent. I swallowed and wished she'd come back. Then I reminded myself that today was my eighteenth birthday, I was a grown up, I didn't need a twelve year old by my side to stand up to a frog.

"I don't think I'm the kind of person you're looking for." I began steadily. "I've never ruled anywhere before, I get nervous just talking to my bank! Why don't you choose someone else to be the Heir? Once all this mess is sorted out I mean."

The Will's boggly eyes narrowed as it contemplated me.

"The only way to replace an Heir is to kill the present one." it said coldly. "And in case you have forgotten, madam, the only thing keeping you alive is the fact that you are the Heiress. Even if I did somehow manage to transfer your responsibilities to another, more suitable, mortal, you would die."

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. Now I considered myself to be a reasonable person, capable of compromise. There had to be some way around this.

"I'm barely eighteen." I said eventually after thinking about the situation for a moment. "I haven't even been to university yet, I've got loads of plans for the future! What if, once we've sorted Monday out, I chose someone to look after the Lower House for a while? Then I could go home right? And after I've lived my life and I've got old enough to make it seem that I died of old age, I'll come back."

"Hmm, how long to humans live exactly?" asked the Will suspiciously.

"It varies. Where I'm from, you can live till you're eighty or ninety sometimes. If you're healthy that is."

"Is that eighty House years or eighty Earth years?"

"Earth years."

"What?! Unacceptable!"

"But I'm already eighteen! So it's really only about sixty years, if you think about it." I said quickly. The Will hoped up and down three times in agitation.

"Even sixty earth years is too long a period in the House for the rightful ruler to be absent. Remember that Earth time passes far slower, sixty years to you might mean as much as six hundred here! Not much in the grand scheme of things but still ample time for the Morrow Days to meddle in our affairs."

"I could pop in from time to time." I said desperately. The Will already seemed to be forming the word 'no' on its amphibious lips but Suzy arrived in time to dump a big pile of clothes on it.

"Quit ya fighting you two." she said as the pile twitched and muffled shouts of indignation issued from beneath it. "Come an' look at all these get ups Cath, some of 'em look like they might fit ya proper like."

Glad for a way to escape, I got to my feet and crossed to the chests.

"Thanks." I muttered as I rummaged through all the clothes. Suzy grinned toothily.

"No probs." she whispered back cheerfully.

We tried on a few outfits each, finally settling on well to do ladies. My dress was crimson velvet but stopped at my shins, giving my walking space, whilst Suzy's was blue and a little grubbier. It seemed everything she touched became woebegone I thought. Then I felt bad for this mean thought and offered to lace up her dress at the back.

"You know, it's funny." I said as I knotted the strings clumsily. "I've been here nearly two days and I'm not hungry at all."

"That's the House for ya." Suzy explained. "It freezes ya like, 'course us 'umans still need food occassionaly. You won't die or noffin but you get all weak and tired. Rubbish rations though. The high ups like to eat sometimes, you know, to show off that they can afford proper food."

"Is that why everyone drinks tea?" I asked and Suzy nodded. When I was done with her dress she crossed to the flap and peered through it.

"Come on, lets 'ave a nose around whilst we're waiting." she said.

"I don't think that's a good idea Suzy." I said. "Dusk might be back any moment."

"Nah he'll be ages!" she scoffed, and before I could protest she had grabbed my hand and pulled me from the tent. The Will hopped quickly after us and I felt it latch onto my skirt just as I stepped outside.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Peddle Power

There was a lot going on outside and I couldn't help but look all around me with my mouth slightly open. We were in what looked like a vast campsite, surrounding the foot of a conical mountain. There were no plants on the mountain, in fact it was weirdly smooth and looked as if it was nothing more than a giant mount of dried brown concrete. There were two verandas at intervals up the slope, the lower one wider than the top.

A series of pulley operated lifts ran from the bottom of the mountain up to the verandas. There was a larger lift bank set against the wall of the Antechamber and a vast queue of denizens snaking their way back through the various tents and wagons. Suzy was dragging us through the camp so I barely had a moment to take in what was going on. Mostly denizens were sprawled on rugs laid outside their tents, chatting and drinking tea. Some of the better dressed petitioners even had food, fussy little platters of cakes and buns. Others were reading, or juggling, or sketching.

The light dimmed suddenly and I looked up to see an unnaturally fluffy cloud drifting across the distant ceiling. I watched it move at a considerable speed towards the wall of the room and then pull up alongside a small platform jutting out. I tugged Suzy's sleeve and pointed.

"What's that?" I asked. Suzy craned her neck to see what I was talking about.

"Just a weather station." she shrugged. "Denizens like weather for cosmetic reasons like, so there are weather officers who drive the clouds around. They use 'em to tend to the ceiling. Sometimes the bulb blows and you get a week of sunlight, or a month of night. I remember a cloud got stuck on the Atrium ceiling and was there for three whole years!"

"How do they get up there?"

Suzy pointed towards a door in the wall, not far from the lift bank. About ten feet above it was another door opening onto a platform, and then a ladder leading all the way up to the weather station. I shivered, my head spinning just from the thought of it. We came across a group of Suzy's friends lounging on the spokes of a battered old wagon. They greeted us cheerily.

"Wot's the news Fred?" Suzy asked of the red haired boy. "Did Noon's goons rough you up?"

"Nah, once they realised Cathy weren't in the house they buggered off. Noon was in a right mood too."

"Good, so they didn't find none of the contraband." said Suzy in satisfaction. I glanced apologetically at the children.

"I'm really sorry about all this." I said but they shouted me down at once.

"Don't worry! We're always getting raided!" said Harry cheerfully. I felt the Will stir under my hair where it was hiding.

"We should return to the tent Catherine." it whispered hoarsely in my ear. "It is not wise to be in the open thus."

"Suzy said Dusk wouldn't be back for a while." I muttered back.

Despite the Will's whining, we stayed with Suzy's mates for nearly an hour before meandering back to the tent. It was still very busy, but it was the laid back business of a concert or a festival, nothing like the chaos of the Atrium. There were a few Commissionaires hanging around but they didn't take any notice of us.

We were in sight of the tent when a stood man with a hood drawn up over his head blocked our path.

"Spare a roundel pretty Miss?" he wheezed.

"No." said Suzy curtly, pushing past him. I paused and gazed at him pityingly. Wasn't there a coin or two in the pouch at my belt.

"Uh, hang on, I think I've got some." I said, routing around in the purse. The man held out his gloved hand and I placed a fat golden coin in his palm. He lifted his head and grinned at me.

"Thank you my dear." said Monday's Noon. I gasped and speedily backed up but he had already thrown off his cloak and grabbed my arm. He towered over me menacingly and I lost my head completely.

"Ouch!" he bellowed as I sank my teeth into his forearm. His grip loosened enough for me to wriggle free. He made a second grab for me but at that moment, Suzy and a whole crowd of other children converged on him.

"Please kind sir, spare a coin?" they cried, clammoring and stretching up their hands to block his view.

"Yeah we're starving!" Fred whined.

"Oh please kind sir! Please spare some change!" Harry begged.

"Out of my way you filthy brats!" Noon snarled, trying and failing to find a path through the beggars. Suzy broke away from the main group and whirled around to look at me.

"Run Cath! We'll hold 'im off!" she cried. I ran for it, weaving through the crowd who were all turning to watch was happening. I had no idea where I was going, I just knew I had to get away somehow. I ran headlong into the back of someone and went sprawling on the floor.

"Catherine, there you are!" said Dusk in relief, bending to help me up. "Where have you been?!"

"Noon!" I gasped. "He-back there-Suzy-kids-distract!"

I doubled up and tried to catch my breath. I felt the Will crawl up the back of my neck, part my hair and hop up onto the top of my head.

"Our location is compromised!" it growled. "The Piper's Children provided an escape for us but we must make haste if we are to maintain the advantage of surprise over Monday!"

"No! Too-dangerous!" I wheezed. "Help Suzy and the other-then get out of here!"

"I can deal with my brother." said Dusk in a firm voice. "But all is not lost yet. He stands between us and the Weird Way, if I distract him sufficiently you can make your way there yourself."

"But I don't know where it is!" I protested. Dusk rummaged in his coat pocket whilst starting forward back the way I had come. He took a small scrap of paper out, it looked like a sticky post-it note. Apparently I wasn't too far from the mark because he stuck it to the Will's head with his thumb and it stayed there for a few moments, merely looking ridiculous. Then the paper melted into the frog's skin and vanished.

"Ah yes, I see." said the Will, nodding knowingly. Of course I didn't see this as it was still perched on top of my head and I looked up to try and see what it meant. The will slipped and flopped down my back, coming to rest on the swishing hem of my dress.

"Please try to be more careful!" it said peevishly.

I ignored it, we were approaching the mob still around Noon. Dusk shoved me down behind a cart and I peered between the spokes of the wheels to watch the proceedings.

"Bloody humans!" Noon suddenly cried and he back handed Suzy so viciously she flew through the air.

I winced as the small girl hit the ground and bounced a couple of times, finally coming to rest not far from me. There was silence for a few moments as everyone watched to see if she'd get up again. Slowly, she pushed herself up and spat out a tooth. At once there was outrage from her fellows.

"Oi! You can't do that!" Fred cried furiously.

"Yeah, we're gonna report you to Mister Monday!" someone else warned. Noon snorted and began to stride away. Just then someone grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and yanked me into sight. The Will fell from my shoulder and splatted to the floor.

"Hey! Mister Noon sir! Look! I've got it!" cried the Commissionaire, apparently delighted with himself. Noon spun around and smiled widely.

"Keep a tight hold on that!" he ordered. He advanced on me but then a hand fell on my shoulder.

"That won't be necessary." said Dusk mildly, waving the Commissionaire away. Noon's smile slid off his face leaving an ugly expression behind.

"What's your game little brother?" he snarled. "That human is my prisoner!"

"That human is the Rightful Heiress and you will not stand in her way." said Dusk. His tone was still light, but he clenched his fist and a sword with a blackened blade materialised. The crowd murmured and drew back to clear a space for the combatants. Noon, still incredulous, drew his own flaming sword. I tried to escape but the crowd was too tightly packed together and I was going nowhere.

Noon stuck the first blow but Dusk calmly parried the attack and followed up with a lightning fast series of slices and cuts. They seemed evenly matched, neither of them sustained so much as a scratch in the first, violent few seconds of the fight. Noon finally succeeded in getting under his brother's defences and dealt him a vicious slice across the cheek.

Dusk didn't cry out and retaliated by somehow using his own momentum to send Noon flying into the air. Ebony wings unfurled on his back and he launched himself after Noon to continue fighting.

Noon sent Dusk crashing back to the ground and he hit the veranda with a bone crunching boom. Noon alighted on the edge of the crater and spun around to face his human prey. But his prey, was long gone.

I'd finally succeeded in slipping away by crawling between many pairs of legs. I'd abandoned the plan completely now. The Will was god only knew where and it seemed we had no chance to sneak into the Day Room without Monday knowing about it. My only chance of survival was to get out of the Ante-Chamber and find somewhere safe to hide. I wasn't cut out for this heroic crap after all.

I was almost at the lift bank when a whole host of Commissionaires moved to block my path. They were hurrying towards the fight behind me and I had to slip through a side door to avoid them. My quick exit did not go unnoticed and as I shut the door behind me and plunged the tiny room into darkness, I saw a couple of them break away from the platoon and pursue me. I groped for a means of escape and my fingers met the metal rungs of a ladder. Oh well, only one way out it seemed.


End file.
